Zailo.Com!

R.I.P.

Having just read an article about how the funeral industry routinely overcharges for its services I put some thought into my wishes for posthumousness. I guess they can charge whatever price they feel they can get from their customers too much or not. The bad part is that there are certain regulations regarding burying people that require a certain minimum of hygenic protection. (As a side note if you reside in San Bernardino County and die while indigent, the county will provide you with a cardboard "coffin". Seen 'em.) I now think I know how I would prefer to be treated upon my demise.

My first idea is to be wrapped in a burlap shroud and be buried posthole style feet first at the base of a tree. Then the tree's roots could easily enter my shroud and draw fertilizer and nutrients from my remains and thusly flourish and prosper. Then a small stone bench could be placed by the tree with a plaque that reads "This abundant shade made possible in part by Zailo".

My other choice for post mortem treatment is to be skinned and have my flesh tanned. Then when I am fully cured, have watchbands, fobs, wallets and belts made from my hide and distributed among all my friends. That way everytime one of my friends looks at his watch or reaches for his wallet he will be reminded of me. Maybe even one of my really close friends could get a pair of cowboy boots out of it. Or a Zailo bound organizer like those fancy executive types carry. Preferably with my face on it so it winds up looking like the Necronomicon from Evil Dead II. Either way I achieve a type of permanence past my natural lifespan.

posted by zailo @ 1:10 PM

Friday, December 26, 2003