Zailo.Com!

By now most of you are sick to death of my tirades against taggers and graffiti. But this time I think I really have the answer. Negative aversion therapy. And no, I don't mean electro-shock therapy. How barbaric! Mine is a much more refined and modern technique: slapping.
That's right, slapping. But it has to be effective. You can't just run up to gang members and criminals and start slapping them. Though Lord knows I have wanted to plenty of times.
Arrest them. Capture them. While you have them in your custody put them in a cell chained to the wall so that they have to sleep standing up. Then while they are fast asleep quietly creep into the room and slap them in the face. I don't mean like in the old movies. "My Gawd, Margaret. You are hysterical. Smac." I mean put your back into it.
Then just leave. Don't say anything, just leave. Creep back in the next night and do the same thing. And repeat this for days never even speaking to them. Don't tell them what they are being punished for. They know. Let them think about it.
Pretty soon I am sure that the slightest creak or rustle will have them snapping awake instantly alert.
Or have a can of compressed air with you and spray it as you approach them from out of the dark and then slap them. Do this often enough and they will come to assoiciate the sound of a spray can with facial pain. Like a shell shocked veteran who winces and grimaces everytime he hears a loud pop or a helicopter. Man that would be great.
Then just release them. Again in complete silence. They will be too busy trying to reestablish a normal and healthy sleep pattern to go out and commit vandalism. You've got my guarantee.

posted by zailo @ 3:53 PM

Friday, January 21, 2005